Land of Confusion

Ha! So after a long time I finally pull. Guess what. He's engaged. Yep. You read that right. He sexts me. Tells me he needs me. That I'm perfect. Yet every night he goes to sleep in the arms of his fiancé. Words can actually not describe just how much that hurts. He's so wonderful. I feel connected to him in so many wonderful ways. Ways I never thought possible. Almost like a kindred spirit. A trapped one. I wish to turn him loose.

Romance

It's weird. When I was growing up I first saw The Crow. It felt like a part of me fell together. From then onwards I've been working to try and feel even am iota of the love and passion that Eric felt for Shelley. It's an intense desire to never be without them. A burning desire. It's something I long for for someone to need me with such a fire that it destroys all others. When you look at someone and you know they belong together, like two pieces of a puzzle falling together, no gaps, no cracks. Solid. I've never felt that.

What struck me last night was that I was watching 'Secretary' and even in a world of fetish...the darker side of love and power. They shared a love so pure. Which then brings me onto my next point. All of the girls I know...they like guys from shows such as True Blood, Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries...which then begs the question...where does that leave me? I don't have a make up artist fixing me up between takes. I don't have perfect lighting following me around. So what can mere males do to live up to the actors drones of women lust for. Style over substance!

This is a world you don't understand.

Yeah you got spirit kid. I'll give you that.

Headfuck!!

Argh. I give up on life. I don't need or want to be here anymore. I'm done. Halloween. I'm gone. Out. Finished. Flatline. Sleep.

Cry.

It's all I want to do!

Wicked Game

I feel the tide rising. Up and up.
I feel it slipping down my throat.
Salt burning my lungs
I need to be free
The sirens call my silver ships to crash
To fall and burn
Sadness and joy as the crimson falls
Drips out on the shore.
And just as the sea holds me close
Holds me under. I grasp at the sand.
I'm free of her for now. The ship won't sail on these waves for a time.
For a while. For ever or a day?

Do You Remember!

Muistatteko
Miltä tuntuu rakastua?
No minä muistan
Miltä tuntuu rakastua
Koska minä näin sinut.
Ääni kuulostaa siltä kuin kotiin
Kun tähdet putosi kuin sade
Ja sydämesi tuli
Ainoa syy pitää uskoa
Elämä voisi olla niin hyvä
Muistatko ..